- Aries: a knife, lots of stab wounds, especially ones in the face- most likely a rage kill. After they were done stabbing you, they'd start ripping you limb from limb, even if you were already dead.
- Taurus: Their bare hands, and they'd strangle you to death. They'd stare into your eyes intensely as they suffocated you to death, maybe even adding in a few dramatic "I got you in the end, you know." phrases while doing it.
- Gemini: It all depends on what is convenient for them to use as a murder weapon- they're clever, so they'd figure it out quickly. Most cannibals are Geminis, so they'd probably eat you afterwards. If you really fucked them over, maybe they'd cut off your hands and watch you bleed to death, probably laughing while doing it.
- Cancer: They'd take you to the beach and find a secluded area only to tie you to a boulder in the shallows of the beach and watch the tide slowly drown you and sea creatures start to pick at your helpless/crying for help corpse.
- Leo: They'd make a whole sport of it- they'd find a bunch of really sadistic, fucked up people on the black market and put you in a pit filled with big cats (especially lions), you'd here "let the games begin!" and a spotlight would come on the death pit as your torn to shreds.
- Virgo: They'd make it look like an accident somehow. Regardless, no one would ever find out that they did it, because they'd cover their tracks well enough.
- Libra: Similar to the virgo one, but they'd definitely pretend to be distraught by what happened, and mask that they were involved really well...but in order to get you back, they'd get your family, your friends, and other people you cared about to show THEM sympathy, and to be on their side.
- Scorpio: Succinolcholine injection after chloroforming the person helpless. (sp? A horse tranquilizer that is extremely hard to detect and basically make the person POWERLESS to do ANYTHING except suffocate to death. It makes all muscles go soft.) and they'd talk to you about how powerless and helpless you were until you died.
- Sagittarius: beating the shit out of someone until they were literally an unrecognizable bloody mass.
- Capricorn: Shooting someone in the head, mafioso style. They'd want it to be quick and clean, and they'd have organized a team to cover for them, dump the body, and probably hired virgo to hide the evidence.
- Aquarius: It'd either be something really strange, whacky, and off the wall, like killing someone in the middle of a play by planning to have a stage light dropped on them, or they'd make an example of you in front of a bunch of their "followers" which they'd most likely have if they were crazy enough to kill.
- Pisces: They'd capture you and play surgeon, the whole time ranting and raving about "how it feels" to feel pain as intensely as the emotional pain that they feel. They'd make sure that the kill took a long time so that they had a captive audience for a long time- another reason they'd prolongue it is they'd enjoy being the predator instead of the victim for once.
Heh, he’s there most days more or less, especially in the summer. His original bin got stolen a couple of years back IIRC *has a sad*I was shopping in Cambridge today with my younger brother and we saw this; A man inside a bin, playing and singing Jungle Book songs on his guitar.
(Source: cayleighjmorgan)
if you put your ear on the inner thigh of a complete stranger on the bus you can actually hear them say “what the fuck are you doing”
“I’m not ashamed to dress ‘like a woman’ because I don’t think it’s shameful to be a woman.” -Iggy Pop
Iggy pop is such a bad ass. There’s an interview I watched where his manager talked about having to bail him out of jail. The manager shows up and Iggy is drunk, disorderly, and wearing a dress. His manager asked “Ig, why are you wearing a womans dress?” and Iggy replied “I beg to differ, this is a mans dress.”
^ It’s like Eddie Izzard says - ‘They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.’
never thought about it like this before
(Source: m0su)
Stayin’ Alive | How to Avoid Being Attacked By A Serial Killer
by John E. Citrone
In the modern age, we’ve all been faced with evils unheard of in the distant past. Technology kills, tyrants and political leaders wipe out entire populations in seconds, and the term “serial killer” is now a household word. Though there’s probably no way to stop high-tech murder machines and power-hungry zealots from blowing up countries, we can give you a few practical strategies for avoiding gruesome death at the hands of a Dahmer copycat.
The first and easiest way to avoid being murdered by a serial killer should be obvious:
1. Marry a Serial Killer
Odd but true, serial killers rarely rape, torture and murder their wives. In fact, they rarely, if ever, kill their children, parents or siblings. There are a couple of reasons for this.
One: Maintaining the illusion of a normal family life is key to avoiding capture. The more normal you look, the less likely you are to attract attention. Kill your wife or kid, and your run is over.
Two: Guilt. Yes, serial killers are capable of feeling guilt, just not for their prey. They do, however, loathe themselves for the suffering they cause their family members. So find a psycho killer and marry that asshole. Who knows, you might even get a nice lampshade out of the deal.
2. Team Up With a Serial Killer
The close relative to marrying a serial killer is actually befriending a serial killer. You don’t have to kill anyone. Just express a fascination for his predilection for murdering lots of strangers. He’ll more than likely try to impress you with his kill history, and you’ll be in the clear – provided you don’t piss him off.
3. Become a Serial Killer
Well, seriously, have you ever heard of a serial killer killing another serial killer? Even if you’re the nomadic type, traveling the countryside shooting, choking and stabbing, chances are you aren’t looking for some psychotic dude with whom to do battle. If you’re the stay-at-home type — killing after midnight and heading home just before breakfast or even better, bringing victims to the house and offing them in the basement while the wife is at bridge club — the likelihood of running into a likeminded sicko is nil. Once word gets out people are disappearing, your competition is leaving town or, at the very least, will stay away from neighborhood.
4. Don’t Live in Florida
Rolling.
Bundy.
Wuornos.
Bowles.
Long.
Burousseau.
5. Don’t Be a Hooker
If you need this explained to you, you probably deserve to be chopped up and left in a ditch by the side of the road.
Because I need this on my blog. Jared being totally safe from zombies. *nods* Srsly, if I found Norman Reedus, I’d totally cling onto him too. Mostly because of zombies. But not completely. Because.Norman Reedus and Jared Leto at Le Baron.
